Ain’t Quite…What I Thought Excerpt by Mirika Mayo Cornelius

On my way to my exiting destination, I heard the sound of Andre’s footsteps behind me, and I pictured his body. Muscles beneath the clothes. Everything that I imagined from the images I retrieved from my memory banks of him in that tub of water. I even began to see myself on top of him in that darn hospital tub with my own clothes off…us both dripping wet. My hormones just wouldn’t stop. The more I tried to stop them, the less I wanted to. It was becoming too much. The people in the street were walking back and forth, some waiting on cabs, some across the street at the hotels, and others just enjoying the night. I saw all of this as I peered through the glass windows and reached for the handle on the door. Suddenly, his hand landed firmly on top of mine. The more I pulled, the more he held. Terror began to rip through my skin and my heart began to flutter at the same time. That dog on door wasn’t gonna come open. I didn’t know whether to fear or let go, but I knew that my mind couldn’t choose. He chose for me.

Andre’s arm…his hand…his fingertips gently glided across my belly button, and my stomach tightened. He wasn’t even tugging on me to keep me here with him, but it still felt as if he was. I had never been held in place before with a touch as soft and simple as that, but there I was, stuck in my stance. I slowly began to breathe, his hand still barely around my waist, but enough for me to feel the heat from his palm. I didn’t turn around. His hand that he had placed on my hand while I held the knob to the door, he slid off slowly, bringing my hand with his. Then, I felt as he caressed his whole body closer to mine and whispered in my ear.

“Don’t go, Jeena.”

His voice almost quivered. Just the tone of it made me want to comfort him…shoot, and myself for that matter.

“Jeena,” he stated softly to me again. His breath on my neck made my toes curl and a freaking chill drip down my spine. I almost jerked. “Jeena,” he repeated once more, and then, he grazed his lips across my shoulder near my dress’ strap. It fell off of my shoulder. As I reached to push it back up, his lips kissed my fingertips…all the way down to my wrist and moving up my arm.

Quickly, not realizing what I was getting ready to do, I turned and faced him. As soon as my eyes met his, I looked down, fast, not my head, but only my eyes. I wanted to speak even, but I couldn’t even get my lips to part.

“Will you stay?” he asked quietly, leaning his head down. He was trying to look into my eyes.

I wasn’t going to answer, however. I knew what he wanted, and I also knew what I wanted. We matched. Like bees and honey, I felt I needed to feed off of him. Like everything I needed, he was my source. He read my mind, so without my answer to his question, he continued to lean over and attempted to kiss my lips. I looked to my left, through the window. People everywhere.

“Don’t worry about them. They can’t see us.”

“Andre’,” I spoke, but then he interrupted.

“Jeena.”

That was it. His lips met mine, and my eyes went shut. Our first kiss. My first kiss…

To a Married Man.