BEYOND THE COVER: Read a Clip From DEAD MAN’S MAYHEM by CYAN DEANE

by Mirika C on August 6, 2015

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Dead Man's MayhemBack story… I need to give this to you before you read this hilarious clip. Clive is the guy who they basically rescued from the funeral home prior to his burial. You’ll read about what exactly happened to get him there, but his two friends are as slim in the brains as it gets. LOL!  This leads to this crazy conversation on their destination, and things get far funnier and far better as well as much more intense as the story goes on.

What you don’t know from this clip is that Clive, the “dead man”, is no joke, no matter what his friends let on, and he’s on a mission to confront those who put him in this position in the first place.  It’s about to get real.

*Warning* Clive cusses like a thug’s tongue on steroids.  It’s his nature.  In this clip, it’s toned down much.

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This clip from Dead Man’s Mayhem is called – Meanwhile, On the Road To Revenge – from my pen personality Cyan Deane.


 

“Just get him in the car, David! Shut up and get him in the car. I’m about to go to jail for this one. I can feel it!”

“How, Tony, huh? If anything, we need to file a big ass lawsuit on the damn funeral home for arranging his funeral tomorrow! Look at his eyes man. Does Clive look dead to you?”

“He did earlier!”

“Well he isn’t, man, that’s the point! All this other stuff is irrelevant, right, Clive?”

I don’t feel like talking right now, but as they shove me head first into the backseat, slam the door and spin wheels to get miles away from the funeral home while the alarm system is going off, I feel the immediate urge to speak no matter how slurred. “Thank you. I’m not dead. Take me to your apartment.”

“Man, hell no! We’re taking you to the damn hospital,” David responds.

“No hospital,” I struggled to speak, and final-fucking-ly Tony spoke up on my behalf.

“Man, can’t you see that he can’t talk much. Give the man a break. Let’s take him back to your place, we chill, and then after his throat or whatever comes back, then we can figure out what to do next. Got it, D?”

“Why my place?”

At that, Tony stops the car in the middle of the road. It’s pitch black outside, my back hurts like a mother fucker from falling my ass out of my coffin backwards and these dudes think I want to stop in the middle of the road and listen to them argue about where to take me while we just left the damn alarm going off at the funeral home. My ass was almost taken to the fuckin’ graveyard, idiots! Take me any-damn-where, shit!

DEAD1
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“Keep going,” I slur while shaking my head.

“No, we’re going to my place,” Tony decides on the fly.

“Why your place then?” David asks.

“Because you hesitated.”

“The fuck?”

“You hesitated, that’s why. Everyone knows the hesitation is the mistake. You hesitate, you die or some other stuff goes wrong like with Clive.” He stares back at me through the rear view mirror, and despite the big turn your ass around and drive that I want to give him, I just stare right back.

“You mean like he dies again?”

I watch as Tony agrees by nodding his head up and down.

“Oh hell no! Then we’ll get popped for murder!”

“He’s already dead to everyone, David! So how can you murder someone already dead, dummy? Just shut up! Can’t you see he’s back there struggling to live again. Turn on the music…classical. I hear babies like that.”

“Babies?” David stares back at me from the passenger’s seat, but fuck it. I’ll let them have this dumb ass conversation with themselves. All I do is stare out the front windshield.

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