Submission In Marriage Explained For Husbands And Wives!!

Submission In Marriage Explained For Husbands And Wives!!


Recently, I have been a bit perturbed about something I heard about submission – a wife’s submission to her husband under God.  Let me CLEARLY state that I do not disagree with God because all as his laws are flawless, however, I do have issue with how some teach and preach this command as it is done many times in PART or simply in a bias form.

Therefore I will explain rule and submission how God has it in the Bible COMPLETELY concerning husbands and wives.  There are other instances of rule, however, in this text I am referring to husbands and wives.

In this, I am not claiming to be a know it all, but only basing what I write off of GOD who knows it all and how I understand His Word.

First off, whenever God states the husband will rule over the wife (Genesis 3:16), all husbands and wives must remember this isn’t a rule such as with an iron fist, husband is always right and wife is always wrong type of deal. For if this is the case, Abraham in his marriage to Sarah would not have been instructed by God to listen to his wife.

Please refer to the entire scripture story from Genesis 16 to 21 so that it can be fully explained, but for now God tells Abraham to hear and do as Sarah his wife asks of him to do in the scripture below.  In this case – and I stress in this particular case Sarah’s request was acceptable.

Genesis 21

9Now Sarah saw the son of Hagar the Egyptian, whom she had borne to Abraham, mocking [Isaac].
10Therefore she said to Abraham, Cast out this bondwoman and her son, for the son of this bondwoman shall not be an heir with my son Isaac.
11And the thing was very grievous (serious, evil) in Abraham’s sight on account of his son [Ishmael].
12God said to Abraham, Do not let it seem grievous and evil to you because of the youth and your bondwoman; in all that Sarah has said to you, do what she asks, for in Isaac shall your posterity be called.

Here it is important to understand that Abraham HEARS God and God told him to obey his wife’s request.  This is to say, husbands are allowed to listen and hear their wives as their requests may be very important and necessary. In that, the man must also pray about that request as any request from anyone to God as he is head.


Next, unless a husband is treating you as Christ loves the church then that husband’s rule over his wife is totally WRONG.

In two scriptures below, the Bible addresses husbands and how they should treat their wives in this RULE over them.  In Ephesians, wives are also spoken to on how they should be subject to their husbands.  The both should work together in order to be a fully functioning partnership as ONE, and if one piece of this is broken, it could more than likely break the communication down terribly in a marriage.

Colossians 3:19
Husbands, love your wives [be affectionate and sympathetic with them] and do not be harsh or bitter or resentful toward them.

Ephesians 5:24-26
24As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands.
25Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her,
26So that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the Word
27That He might present the church to Himself in glorious splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such things [that she might be holy and faultless].
28Even so husbands should love their wives as [being in a sense] their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself.
29For no man ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and carefully protects and cherishes it, as Christ does the church,
30Because we are members (parts) of His body.
31For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.
32This mystery is very great, but I speak concerning [the relation of] Christ and the church.
33However, let each man of you [without exception] love his wife as [being in a sense] his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [[f]that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and [g]that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly]. [I Pet. 3:2.]

The husband is to rule over his wife and family as Christ would the church. Christ never was bitter, resentful, hateful or mistreated the church in ANYWAY. Christ gave Himself up for the church, so shall a husband do for his wife, guiding her in and by God’s word, not with a fist, screaming, demands of all sorts as if the wife is a rag-doll or slave because that isn’t love.  The husband is to rule with love at all times and so should the wife treat her husband with love at all times, both being careful not to mistreat each other.

If we read just verses before the last scripture at Ephesians 5:21-23:

21Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
22Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

In the same way wives are accountable for how they treat a husband, the husband is accountable and will answer for how he treats his wife. The Bible clearly outlines the way in which husbands and wives should submit to one another in the FEAR of GOD.

This being stated, find your place, husbands.  Find your place, wives.  Do what it states and communication should be AWESOME in your home.  This is the only counseling session that you will need!  By these scriptures TOGETHER, not picked over and chosen, both husband and wife will know if they have stepped out of line and know how to correct it, thus, getting back in line.

RULE—that word, that one word MUST be placed in context and taught in context.  RULING in LOVE as CHRIST.  LOVE…LOVE…LOVE.  People please don’t think for one second that rule means get beat down, mistreated, and abused.  This isn’t how God instructs clearly.

Men, also be humble with this rule because not one man on this earth EARNED it.  God gave this out of His own order of things, and men and women should respect and take the responsibility of submission to each other with total care and out of FEAR of God.  He is watching all of us, and truth is…we have to all meet HIM one day.

Let’s fix our marriages and get rid of pride.

Also WOMEN, stop going around submitting to men that you aren’t even MARRIED to!!  HAVE MERCY!  The Bible doesn’t say submit to your boyfriend!  HUSBAND…HUSBAND!  Your boyfriend has no shoe in with the submission thing.  Wait on that ring, vow and I DO!